Well my time alone researching myself is coming to an end. I have to admit the thought of being thrown into a crowd of bustling people is a little daunting so I’ve been taking mini adventures around the countryside.
It’s interesting the stories people place on strangers. I’m so busy navigating my surroundings that the projections come in a little after the fact. Like the sweet young cashier who paid the extra change I couldn’t find at the bottom of my bag because of her compassion with my being an immigrant. Or the truck driver who was gratefully shocked that a woman stopped way back in anticipation and allowed him to go first to make traveling the small road easy. It hasn’t all been peachy keen nectarine (they’re in season and so sweet). I look North African so life can be odd sometimes, however I believe everyone likes me (or I project that on to them) and that no one minds my child-like French (but I have a great vocabulary) and most I’ve met believe that too so when encountering those that don’t have my beliefs, I don’t let it bother me.
On the whole no matter where or who one is their fears and projections are with them. When I was an actor, there was this expression, ‘If you’re going to believe the good reviews you have to believe the bad too.” Meaning – Let it go. It’s just an opinion. All the judgement of self and others; just move on with the living portion of the program. There is too much beauty to see and things to experience to limit it with some ridiculous belief about something we know nothing about.
I’m looking forward to the city. Don’t get me wrong I will miss nature and the gentle way of being of those living in the country. And the quiet, I love it. I could live here. Then again, once I get to know anyplace, I tend to fall in love with it and it becomes home.
Here’s to loving existing!