“The reason why are parents can push our buttons is because they installed them.” Anonymous

Of late, I’ve been listening a lot and the thing I hear most is how people are becoming aware of what triggers them. When looking forward to the awakening of mankind this wasn’t a detail that came to mind. I imagined all the cool music the renaissance would bring and extinct species reappearing on the planet and the challenges that would go with equality (like sharing bathrooms and the mixing of cuisines) or having a universal currency, etc. I never thought about letting go of the deeply rooted behavior instilled in us by our loved ones.


Even when looking in the mirror and seeing my mother’s face reflected back at me coming in through the opposing side of my image, I lifted my hand and said no! You are not allowed. But then I saw me pointing my crooked phalanges in the exact same way as she would have done. We had even broken the same finger in the same place and it had developed the same hump in the same direction. Damn DNA is powerful!


For years I’ve been telling myself and others that once one realizes they have a problem it’s on them to fix it. No victim mentality or martyr phase or worse, vengeance quest needed; simply let go of the annoying behavior and move on. I know it’s easier said than done but hey, so is life. Thus, the moral to today’s story is, if you are living and aware of your existence you’re already a winner at being you.





Lucinda Williams’ Sweet Side

Most of the world knows our thoughts create our reality. That major law of attraction is in every religious document or tome created. That law normally resides next to the law that tells you about the consequences of your actions which is beside those laws commanding you to do as they say do which is next to another law dictating when you act there is an opposite reaction or pull to counter creating another law… But if all our thoughts are food where is the nourishment in all of it?


Today let’s add some vitamins to the food of thought ruminating in our heads. Let’s C if we can visualize a healthy world where we are only attracted to that which raises our frequencies. Let’s D materialize into nature and draw our vision of the perfect day in the earth around us. Let’s B calm and enjoy ourselves; tell ourselves nice stories and remember when we loved oneself and we thought we were the coolest person at the table. Let’s En joy ourselves and lubricate the goodness of all there is around us.


For as we think we are, so when thinking about how our day will play out let’s drink in the present moment where we are so perfectly perfect.


Have a great weekend!



Jeff Tweedy’s (aka Wilco )Love is Everywhere

I have no idea how long this solar storm will last but I can’t wait for it to end. It’s truly testing my patience. Everything is vibrating in front of me. I can literally see the binary opposition of living in this dimension like waves of heat but it’s not that hot right now.


I don’t feel badly nor do I feel judgmental which is normally where I go when so much energy is being processed, no I’m simply watching it. It vibrates and leaves waves of energy like those blue light swirls you get when you close your eyes before you meditate or go to sleep. Just thought of something, I bet that’s where they got the idea for paisley. All those strange lights swirling around while one’s getting still.


But the good news is, it comes in like a Donavan song. Music is all I hear right now. I literally think I’ve been watching movies to drown out all the sounds. But so many story ideas are triggered by that music. And then again, a lot of it is kinda dark. What the heck is going through humanity’s mind? You know Trump isn’t going to resign like Nixon did when he was about to be impeached. Trumps never been an elegant man. He’s only here to inspire us to take the next quantum leap in our own personal evolutions. We can’t keep doing the follow the leader, Simon says, last man standing wins, scenarios. Heck I’m getting tired of recording the same stuff over  and over again.


I miss when I was young and innocent and just went with the flow because even if I made it into harm’s way, I was held like the innocent babe I was until I could see what hellish fire I’d walked through. You know, I’m smiling because I just realized that I always veer like an eclipsed planet in the fall. There’s something about everything winding down that makes me go all yellow to orange to red before getting all golden mulch like.


Wow, thank you my friends. Once again while writing you, clarity came into view and once again I got oh so peaceful. I owe you one. If you need to vent, write me. I promise I will read the entire rant.


There, there now,



Donavan’s 1. wear your love like heaven, 2. season of the witch 3. there is a mountain and 4. catch the wind..

I have no idea why I haven’t felt like writing of late. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten that bug that’s going around. You know the one – the helpless hopeless that’s going around. Heck there’s some gnarly energy in the air making me binge on carbs and watch movies back to back and that ain’t good.


So, I’m going to have to pull out the big gun. No, not chocolate but I have been eating chocolate by the bars of late. My favorite kind of chocolate is on sale. You know, the ginger lemon with a hint of pepper in organic dark chocolate where after melting in your mouth little ginger nibs are left. Plus, my favorite cracker is on sell too. That everything salty seasoned one that is gluten free and even shaped like a chip so you know I’ve been eating those by the bag full.


Now none of this would worry me if I was drinking water like I normally do and walking but no, I’ve been binging movies too! May I suggest, Oh Lucy and some weird New Zealand serious called The Legend of the Seeker.  That show is so corny, it’s brilliant. The lead-lady stands like a wonder woman video goddess with her pasties on the inside of her push up bra and the young hero is so contemporary that you just want to … Okay enough of that!


“ANYHOO..” as those cool kids say. I have no idea what the heck is going on in the ethers so I’ve decided to go along with it. Thus, I’m floating but in a good way. Grounding myself into the earth and sky above so those drifting vaped rings of depression can ooze out and some fresh air of hope and mirth and joy and frivolity and inspiration and courage and if need be rebellion can seep in and allow the Elementals some space to do what they do. ..But after they finish playing their song. Have you ever heard the Elementals sing? It’s amazing! Where do you think Walt Disney got all his ideas from! I had a mouse talk to me once too. It said “Chicken.” And with a smile. I’d left the door open so the bird I was roasting wouldn’t smell up the house…


Oh, the big gun… okay where’s the dictionary…hmmm. All I have is this little pocket one today but heck, it’s next to the little Zohar so it’ll work. Here we go… HA! Interfamily… and it’s one of a bunch of words listed under the heading inter; which means between or among. So, there it is, folks! Between us, we are all family so you cannot fire me or even not read my crazy blog because even if you think you can get away with rationalizing my behavior or why you read my blogs at all, remember this – IT’S HERIDITARY and maybe even contagious, my sistahs and brothers of humanity! So, go out there and take one for the family! Go out there and have some fun!


Ain’t Life Grand!!!!





Helpless/hopeless link is John Martyn singing  “May you never lay your head down …” and  the link attached to “Ain’t Life Grand” is Jiminy Cricket aka Cliff Edwards wishing upon a star. Both are so magically musically beautiful.


Geez Janus, what the heck! I don’t get it. I feel lost. I never understand why people take so much time (get ready for another bizarre metaphor) to ice a cake that’s really soap. Meaning – I never know how to respond to two trains of thought coming at me at the same time from one person. For example, when someone you know says, “You, remember me?” or a person says something truly weird like “You gonna eat those fries?” or “Have the dentist check your teeth.” What else would a dentist do! Something is weirdly odd.  And if it’s a true politician forget it, my brain tilts at the number of messages being telegraphed simultaneously. Why do we do that? What is accomplished by avoiding the very thing one is trying to say.


I understand the need for civilization to have a set of norms and polite communications and salutations. I get that. A hello is a lovely way to start a conversation but why the need for a multitude of sentences before asking the one that matters? Please help me with this strange human, ritual. I was born in Scorpio with a border line tendency to Asperger syndrome (or that is how I’ve been rationalized by those with the ability of small talk) so I truly don’t get this necessity for deferring a true conversation with chit-chat before the real conversation begins. To me this is a low-grade version of lying.


Maybe that’s why people think I’m such a serious person. I’m trying to understand what we’re talking about when they are trying to figure out a way to talk to me or testing the waters for what they’d really like to say or maybe they’re simply looking for something to say… Gosh it’s exhausting. I miss innocence when people simply said hi and waited for a response. I miss when truth was rewarded, you know, before networking and corporate strategizing. I miss when people weren’t afraid to voice their opinions openly. I need to know when someone doesn’t like me so I don’t force myself on them or them onto me. I miss honest communication because then I can jump into the conversation and help its forward movement without sounding all serious like; “Hey what are you saying or I don’t believe that or what the heck!”


So, to lighten everything up today, I’d like to say, I like you. I really would love to have this conversation over a lovely meal or at a park. I’m not fond of any ism. In fact, I miss when it was impolite to talk about one’s money or religion or political view. Do you know any good jokes? No one tells jokes anymore. We just have comic monologues. Oh..oh, why did the egoist cross the road? To see another’s viewpoint.


HHAHAHAHAHaaaa (I know…I need to get away from this computer.)


Here’s to growing!



Harry Nilsson’s Everybody’s Talkin’ At Me


Hi, Here’s some musings after a couple of days off indulging in popular culture. (For – The New York Times, Chelsea Handler, IMDB.com, Google, Wikimedia, Hasan Minhaj, The Daily Sun, Redbox, the local library, daily crossword puzzles, open mic nite…)


Since birth I’ve been woke. I understood the hierarchy of color and race and sexism coming out of the womb and it affected my behavior immediately. I didn’t only learn to nurture and make myself small to get along with the outside world, I had to do this in order to get along with those in my inner sanctum as well. But then I found the arts where all the others that don’t fit (but have good minds) go and I started to create a world I wanted to live in.


However, I still had to engage with the outside world. Grocery shopping and paying bills and job hunting and working and the right-left brained dosey-doe dancing was exhausting. But I understood. I could feel when and how everyone from the alpha to omega of the social economic ladder had someone or thing hanging over them. My compassion became my truth and buckler to steal from some 90s psalm.


But enough already. If we are working toward the entire world feeling empowered than I am living it right now. I don’t need anyone of privilege fighting for or making money off me. In fact, I’m so entirely over fighting altogether that apathy seems agreeable. I don’t care about race or riches or his or hers or gender or trans or this or that or anything. I’ve always lived the middle road; heck I am the middle road and I can feel it quaking there too. Aren’t we sick of feeling this way? I apologize for vomiting this up but I’m over it, folks. This need to define.  No matter how beautiful the word or image is, it’s too finite for me, too crass, too over-simplistic, too untrue.


Okay, I’ll stop. Enough. Nothing is worth our sense of peace.





A Chica Dificil  by  Aterciopelados

I have few fears and even less prejudices however I was forced to face one last night. A feline friend of mine tried to warn me but I wanted to finish reading my first edition Pennyroyal Press version of Baum’s Wonderful Wizard with the beautiful wood block prints by Barry Moser so I didn’t have time to listen to my friend’s mewing. Well as most cats do, she turned and walked away.


Well I continued on down the yellow brick road paved in inky gray and black stroked art and I was dive bombed by a bat the size of a small crow. When you have a phobia of rodents especially flying ones that look like Poe’s raven, you don’t quote anything you scream. It wasn’t quoting the bard either, it was laughing at me.


Well every flying monkey in the world entered my thoughts and I was squealing and eating my bathrobe at the same time as the cat finished her chicken. I don’t do bats. I barely can handle picking up a mouse to return it to the wild. See my arrogance I called it, It. Well I grabbed the culprit who thought it would be funny to see my reaction and threw her in the room with the jabberwocky-bat and slammed the door.


Then my heart strings started to pull at me and they played a dirge about my lack of compassion for the terrified critter that has as much right to be there as I do. Only seconds ago I was praising him for eating mosquitoes and noseeums and gnats, oh my. Alright I removed the cat who was sitting by the open patio door staring into the moonlight.  And then I hoped , prayed and set an intention that the vermin was gone, but no, it was in the bathroom.


Long story short, I got the little fellah back into the wild with a spritz of rose water and many prayers to bat devas. I’m ashamed of my behavior. I would have killed a part of our family that handles the most numerous part – insects, without a thought had I not dealt with my prejudice against her.


Yes, I know she went from It to Him to Her. What a sexist misogynist asshole I can be, huh. But I’m learning to let it go, all of it for I am a stupid part of It too.




mi la retard

Just watch as time goes on, those that have ‘true understanding’ will be revered… And those that do not will be ignored… The issue is that those that ‘have it’ will also do their best to keep ‘the real truth’ hidden so only a few ‘elite’ can function ‘behind the scenes’… (been that way throughout all time and history)… daniel “whelland” dowd


Well that just has to stop! I read Langston Hughes as a kid. I remember when he coined the phrase “talented tenth”. Granted he was speaking about those Blacks that made it out of slavery and the mentality that imprisoned them. Today capitalism and all the other ism’s have made all of us their bit*&. Thus, those that have learned to self-create within that paradigm should have the compassion to inform and assist that awareness in others. And I don’t mean simply by tithing into whatever foundation they created for a tax write-off either, I mean give true knowledge, the proverbial teach-them-to-fish type Supreme Intelligence.


I understand some keep the real truth hidden but it’s not out of some power play or maliciousness (well, some time it is). It’s out of fear. Those that control others don’t want us to know how much power rests within us. For thirty years , I’ve been privy to some gnarly energy coming at me so I don’t shout that out loud so of course that’s all I talk about:)


We are free. We are sovereign. We are the kings & queens of our realm of imagination. I believe that’s why there is so much child abuse on this planet right now; to dis-empower us early so we don’t realize we do have the whole world in our hands, and DNA and factual trust funds.


Scary, huh having all that power. Even scarier is using it responsibly for your good and the good of those others you love and with harm to none, nada, no one. Make your life a win-win, folks. That has always been an option on this beautiful blue planet of free willing joy and light!


Here’s to YOU!


Mi l r

Mr. Easy, Jesse Belvin singing Imagination

My favorite toy as a kid was hands down, soap bubbles. They encompassed magic to me. They transformed the liquid to solid with a wave of a wand and made rainbows to boot. Then, they flew! What else could you make yourself that could do so much with so little? I loved, loved, loved soap bubbles and still do, to this day.


I know I am repeating myself here, but one of my favorite books of all times is Baum’s Wizard of OZ. To me, it’s one of the greatest spiritual journeys ever told. So, when perusing my local Groupon’s things-to-do category some years back, there was a hot air balloon ride. I had to do it. When booking my magical flight, I demanded the wizard take me. The nonplussed woman in reservations, who must’ve heard that request a lot said, “Credit card, number please,” before going into her litany of dos and don’ts of balloon flying.


Well when I got to the parking lot that picked us all up to take us to the launch site, there he was – the Wizard. He was even better than I imagined. He was a white-haired, beard wearing, steam-punk cowboy of great mirth and wisdom. He was cool! I was in awe and so excited, but  to quote the French, le piece de resistance (aka the best part) was when in air floating quietly above the river, he gave me a bottle of soap bubbles.


I don’t know if you could feel my silent pause of awe when writing that but it was nowhere near the joyful, humble, serenity I felt with my wand in hand. Years before and later I took a picture and saw a beautiful orb appear by my desk. I knew it was my mother’s spirit. I could feel her. What I didn’t know was that’s why I’m so in loving awe with soap bubbles. They remind me of my ancestors on the other side always watching over me.


All this to say, the world is filled with so much magic, folks. Trust it. Love it. And never lose one’s awe for it. Because this world and you are magic and that will always be there to inspire the awe of All There IS.


And so it is,



A Loving Spoonful of Magic!

Well are you swooning? I know, most are either falling madly in love with their new powerful selves during the Virgo black and new moon or they’re depressed as all get-go. However, by the light of the New Moon, we can design life however we wish.


Life is evolving ever so quickly. We’re all clearing out at the emotional and physical levels and that effects our mental being. We’re transmuting the collective shadow side of everyone. Everyone’s childhood trauma is coming up to be cleared from our time lines. Plus, all that programmed “be like me” kind of nonsense is being dismantled so we may create our authentic beings.


Okay let me start again, what’s going on metaphorically speaking is the entire world has gotten together and gone into therapy. On a grand scale, some have just found out they’ve been abused  and others have just found out their father was the abuser and those allowed the innocence of their growth cycle have found out that all those they’ve trusted are nuts-crazy-silly abused/abusing people.


It might look crazy out there, like the proverbial four horsemen are throwing a rave party but they’re simply running a rake across the land making the most beautiful mandala this planet has ever known.


Let’s let go of the fear, folks and hug ourselves into a depression-free state because we’re just a good night’s sleep away from the promised thousand years of peace of this dimension and it gets even better than that. If/when, now that we’ve ascended the need for binary opposition to create matter (how we lived in this dimension) we are rising above the need for a shadow to hold the light frequency. Yeah!


So risk living as if heaven is on earth because we really are closer than you think.

Love life, please.


Thank you,